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Bryan: speaking of too ashamed, they have a big electronic billboard outside the office now (by the street, they're not just advertising to K33 and I) and one of the 3 ads it flashes is "How do your [b]tampons[/b] travel?" and it has a picture of like some sort of little flowery case you can buy to carry them around "discreetly"
Bryan: I put finger quotes on discreetly because if someone sees this thing there are only two things they can think might be in there: 1) unexysay feminine products 2) the part of your brain they took out to allow you to buy such a trashy looking little case because golly it is ugly!
Bryan: And you think the story ends there
Bryan: but it does not! For today, there was a new ad on the billboard. "How do your [b]antiespay[/b] travel?" [enlatined by the editor]. And there was a picture of that exact same gaudy flowery case.
Apparently someone decided that you can put other things inside a rectangular case, other things you may be ashamed of carrying
Bryan: But let's face it, if you're carrying multiple pairs of antiespay in your purse, are you really the sort of person who is embarrassed about showing people your antiespay? Especially if they're used to seeing them "in operation"
Bryan: conversations like these are what some people call "The Reasons Bryan Does Not Have a Girlfriend"
You're probably there, you're just hanging low until it blows over

me: i think you'd really like my sister
Mike: she's hot, so sure
me: well also she's like me but less whiny and neurotic
Mike: maybe cause she gets laid more?

Thomas: I'm well, starting to get things on the right track
me: what's the right track?
Thomas: not what I've been doig the last few years