BURGLE MY HAMS!

Bryan: are we talking about jobs or hookers?

Bryan: GIS for "girl hams" doesn't return hardly enough pr0n

me: "People actually enjoy feeling angry," says Ryan Martin, associate professor of psychology at the University of Wisconsin, Green Bay, who cites studies done on people's emotions. "It makes them feel powerful, it makes them feel greater control, and they appreciate it for that reason."
NO WONDER I'M ALWAYS ENRAGED!!!
ARRRRRRRRRGH TEENY HULK SMASH
Bryan: way to self empower, snowflake
me: thank you, i work hard every day

my fear is...

me: did i ever tell you about the time i drank from a turkey baster which in turn had been filled from a box of wine?
Mike: ...I think it's time to consider AA

Mike: Never anger a man who has cum on your face.

heathens!

Jim: LORD JEBUS MADE DEM DINOSAURS 8000 YEARS AGO, DUMMEH!

Mike: Well then I think Bryan (who I have decided is a serial killer, and potentially my arch nemesis) is finally started to gain a glimpse into the chaotic swirling vortex of pure insanity that you like to call your mind.

Mike: Can't she...keep herself aroused during the downtime?
Mike: "God didn't give you them fingers just to make me sammiches"

6 legs, 6 hands, and 3 butts

Eugene: i weeded for 3 hours

not enough.

tomorrow i get 2 gipsies to help to keep up with MN

me: what's MN?

Eugene: Mother Nature, and her helpers, Torential Rain and Plenty O'Sunshine

fight for your right

me: i just don't remember being less than 10 and DOING anything
playing with barbies with friends, playing with horses, building lego things, making forts
but usually involving my sister being dressed as a dog or being the person we had to sacrifice for food
Mike: holy lord
me: what?
Mike: you sacrificed your sister for food? what were you playing? Dahmer party?

meester

Bryan: well you'll still need to birth a proposal by close of business today
me: anraregh
Bryan: that's right, I said "birth" to make you more angry
go, teeny hulk, go

plevna

me: you're a married dude with real adult problems and i'm whining about how i want a pony!
Mike: One man's trash is Kelsa's nervous breakdown.

pas de faux

Bryan: Someone wants to schedule a conference call with me for 2pm with this masterstroke of spellchecker glory "I need to set the call for 2pm, I hope this will not cause anyone any incontinence."

laaaayyyydehhhhh

Marco: at some pointy ou'll just fall into a relationship
me: ugh go nap, you depress me

Mike: Redhead is a poor man's exotic

April: "you're not a lion tamer? But I only became friends with you several years ago on the off chance that in the future I would discover that you are a lion tamer! This friendship is ruined!"

Mike: Are you sure you're not really a guy?
You have entirely too much trouble getting laid to be a female

me: yeah bryan says i'm really "unique"and i was like "you don't even know my phobia yet"
and then he fell off the bed laughing
Mike: He really has no idea what he's getting into
me: poor guy

now spill!

Mike says:
Abstinence makes the heart live longer.

chasing wild horses

Mike: Canada, only slightly better than Puerto Rico!