rosie 2.0

Bryan: fuck robots that can make a goddamn pancake, when are we going to have the robot that cleans up the mixing bowl and wipes down the counters?

google moon

Bryan: But anyway let me tell you about salted cod pieces. I assume that Newfies must drink sea water instead of fizzy water. Those salted cod pieces are the saltiest thing I've ever eaten, and I've once eaten a whole bowl of salt
Bryan: I think I went blind in one eye after a few pieces

but not out loud, sadly

Bryan: Someone else today asked me what color the server was. Is it that big black box over in the respiratory office?
"I don't know I've never been on site or seen the server"
Well how do you not know what color it is at least?
(silence)
Well?
"Oh sorry I thought that question was rhetorical"

Bryan: but then they got all mad when I said that there was no place to plug in the interface

like that was my problem
Bryan: they don't even have Helix!
Bryan: that's like me calling Lockheed-Martin and complaining that there's no AUX jack on my 4Runner's stereo

Bryan: the best part is that all these calls are on speakerphone so as soon as I start to answer someone in the room invariably wants to add something to the question, so they talk over me because the use a half duplex speakerphone and I have to repeat my answer
Bryan: "You want to start testing?"
N----(o I just need to know what ports)
"We're not ready for testing yet probably"
N----(o I just need to know what ports)
"What all is involved in the testing because I can get someone to come in on their day off and help you"
I ju--(st need to know what ports)
"Our project plan will have to be submitted immediately too to get it oked by the hospital, can we do this after hours?"
I'm n(ot ready for testing yet!)

freshly ground

Bryan: I was just looking into my new nerd mouse and staring at the laser wondering what color the laser is when it is flat on the desk because clearly the laser turns off when you pick it up. Let me look closer. Yes definitely off.
Bryan: Then I read below it "DANGER: Invisible laser radiation. Do not view directly with naked eye"

because apparently this one uses an infrared laser
Bryan: which I shot into my eye

honey honey, how you thrill me

me: who's the jihad against? the po-po? i'm on board
Bryan: What do we want? The police to come to us when we have an accident! When do we want it? Within an acceptable time frame!
I can't hear you, please don't fire your gun while issuing demands