santa baby

me: he's prepping for a bj and hasn't anyone told you that girls ADORE giving bjs?
Bryan: Oh is that for everyone they get that excited? I thought they just really appreciated my unit
me: we LOVE to jam things that have been sweating in polyester all day into our most delicate orifices full of bacteria!
Bryan: I think I like you a little less now that I know how much you resent things

ponce

Bryan: oh pervy is all I know

But generally more tasteful than my earlier statement

(monocle)

me: LOL

i am a most tasteful purveyor of the clam

Bryan: See now I sound like some sort of cross between an english prince and a sailor